Welcome, Agent Papyrus

 
 

Senior Agent, 18 year veteran



Operation Filthy Laundry

Agent Papyrus,

I’m sorry it has come to this.

Your mission is to finally apprehend your former student, Agent Marble, and bring them to justice.

In 2018 they betrayed their country. They betrayed you. But most importantly, they betrayed our agency. And now, five years later, we’re finally going to pay them back.

YOUR MISSION DETAILS (AGENT PAPYRUS)

  • You will be on a window stake out while your new student / agent Rookie works the field.

  • Lunch will be provided for you. Agent Rookie will not receive lunch so please don't brag about your lunch to them.

  • Finally, we hope it goes without saying to never share your password.

***INFORMATION TO SHARE WITH AGENT ROOKIE BELOW***

  • Our below average code-breaking team is sifting through data on Marble but currently they can only confirm they are wearing jeans and an animal necklace.

Bahn Mi

Choose one: Chicken, Beef, Tofu.

Comes with, pickled carrots & daikon, cucumber, red onion, cilantro, miso spread, and spicy mayo

Agent Papyrus, click on a mission to see your personal notes.

OPERATION FILTHY LAUNDRY (ongoing)
  • betrayal was the appetizer, but I’m about to serve up a dish best served cold: Getting Even Gazpacho
OPERATION DIRTY LAUNDRY
  • my only failed mission…
OPERATION BUBONIC CURTSY (worst mission in Agency history)
  • whoops, I guess that’s two failed missions. No thanks to Marble, that traitor.
  • Open Mission File here.
  • Reminder to never leave your passwords on your office wall. That's a big security no-no!
    -Leslie from HR
UNLOCK THE REAMER ASSIGNMENT
  • who’s scarier? The scariest person ever made? Or the guy that found him
HAVANA SYNDROME ROUND ROBIN
  • you’re welcome America! You’ll thank me in about twenty years
EXPEDITION GOOSE MURDER
  • it’s not what it sounds like
THE GOOSE STRANGLE CHALLENGE
  • sigh, this is exactly what it sounds like
MISSION: INVOLUNTARY U2 DOWNLOAD
  • heh, Bono owes me for that one
OPERATION CHENEY TRAIN HEIST
  • ah I guess I have three failed missions. huh.

For older missions, please upgrade to HR Pro™

For disputes or personnel records, enter the subject matter here and we will pull up the relevant files: